Enjoying the process

I’m not trying to cut corners.

I’m not trying to get ahead of myself with the things I wanna do or the places I wanna go. There are things that are deep-rooted from childhood that my teeny bopper heart would squeal if I ever got to do, but… let’s push that aside.

I am such a daydreamer. I can sit there and imagine, imagine, imagine different situations or scenarios playing out like a movie that I can stop and play back in my head. (Wow, you must never get bored then.) However, I’ve learned this isn’t the most healthy thing for me. It’s kinda like being romantically interested in someone and allowing yourself to imagine what it would be like to be around them everyday. Then surely but slowly, you become infatuated (that’s a nice word for obsessed).

That’s kinda how it is for me and the things I imagine myself getting to do career-wise. It’s not “bad” to have aspirations or ambition but how much am I willing to let them hang over me? I don’t wanna develop the mentality that “once I’m doing this or get to here, it’ll all be worth it, let me just get there.” Nope. I can’t do that to myself. Not with this. There’s things to learn throughout this whole process and I don’t want to miss out on a fundamental lesson. (Typing that felt weird like who wants to learn life lessons, haha.)

So I’m just chilling. Working hard to do what I need to be doing whilst incorporating new ideas that maybe no one has ever done before. It’s a bit frightening. There’s so many resources online for how to market music or create a brand or an “audience”. All serving great intention, but I really don’t like the idea of trying to get people to like me, haha. It’s exhausting and I went through that enough in middle school (me and everyone else). For example, after I wore flare pants to school and got made fun of because skinny jeans were the viBeZ. I feel myself wanting to dive deeper into that thread of thought, but once again (relating to my last post), I will contain myself.

Thanks for reading! Happy Valentine’s Day! :)